Drunken Germans
by SuperstitiousSeaturtles
Summary: Gilbert wants to party. Ludwig doesn't. This calls for a good old method of blackmail. A short story about what happens when Ludwig gets drunk. Human names used, rated T, because Lovi makes a short appearance.


"Was ist los? Es ist Party angesagt!"

Ludwig gave his brother a sceptical look. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

''That is not important! What's important is that I'm _awesome_. And so are you. So… We should party bis die Leute durchdrehen! We never do that anymore.''

''We never did that, Gil. And there's a good reason for it - you always get in trouble when you drink. That's why I have to be sober any time you're not. To bail you out.''

Gilbert frowned. ''That's just sheiße. I'm not accepting your excuse - you are officially obliged to get drunk with me.''

Ludwig just continued reading his book.

''Right now.''

Still no response.

''Or I'll tell Feli that you don't really like pasta and you've been pretending for his sake this whole time.''

The blond's eyes shot up. ''You wouldn't…'' Gilbert just grinned and leaned against the couch. ''Try me. But remember - I warned you…''

Ludwig sighed, closing his book. ''Okay. I'll go out with you.''

''Nein. I don't want you to _go out_ with me. I want you to drink hectolitres of beer, act stupid and have fun with me. Y'know, loose control, take your shirt of in the middle of the street… Just stop being so uptight.''

Ludwig gave another sigh of resignation. ''Fine, I'll drink with you. I'm not promising anything else, but I will drink as much as you want me to. Is that fine with you?''

''Yeah, that's awesome with me!''

''I don't think- ''

''Oh, stop whining! We have the entire night before us!''

* * *

><p>''So, how do you like this place?''<p>

''It's awful. But the beer is good enough, so I guess it will do.''

Ludwig was never one for flashy clubs with laser lights and music turned up so loud you had to shout to have a remotely normal conversation, but this time he didn't have much of a choice, so he decided to just humour his brother. He probably wouldn't even get drunk, considering his tank of a head. Right…?

''Feli? Is this you?''

''Si, it is… Why are you calling me at two in the morning, Luddy?'' the sentence was followed by a hefty yawn.

''I just… couldn't wait to tell you this. I… I want you to know, that I love you, Feli. Okay? I really do. And… I don't want you to think I don't… just because I don't say it enough, you know?''

Well, that woke him up.''… Che cosa? Ludwig, have you been drinking…?''

''Just a bit… But that's irrelevant. Can you promise me to always remember that I love you more than anything, Feli?''

''Eee… Yeah… I guess.''

''That's good. Really good. Great, actually. Would you like to have sex now?''

''Ludwig! It's the middle of the night! I really don't think-'' he was cut off by another voice from the background

''Fratello? Are you talking to that bastard again? It's the middle of the night, per amore di Cristo!''

''Don't blaspheme Lovi! That's really bad!''

''I don't care! Tell the potato to go fuck himself and go back to sleep! I'm not dealing with a grumpy, sleep deprived idiota tomorrow!''

''Lovi!''

Ludwig pullet his phone away from his ear slightly as Lovino continued to scold his brother very loudly. Gilbert gave him a questioning look.

''What's going on?''

''I think Lovino woke up… On second thought, maybe this wasn't the best idea…?''

''It was an awesome idea, because it was _my_ idea. What did he say?''

''Not much… He said my name, and then… something else… I don't really remember. But he didn't seem that into it…''

''Ludwig?'' the german drew his attention back to the phone.

''Ja?''

''I really have to go, I'm sorry… I'll call you tomorrow, bene?''

''Ja. Bye, Feli.''

''Bye!''

Ludwig put the phone back in his pocket and looked at his brother. ''I think I got him in trouble.''

''Nah, the little angry one is all bark and no bite. Especially when it comes to Feli. He's just too adorable, no one can stay mad at him!''

''Ja, that is true, I guess.''

''Of course it is! Now, I remember us talking about you taking your shirt of in public…''

''Nein, Bruder. I may be drunk but I still have boundaries.''

The albino sighed and pouted. ''Fine. Let's go get more beer and dance on the bar then.''

''Alright.''

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**Okay, so I passed my german exam I was supposed to have passed in June, but was to lazy to do it. And I decided to celebrate the fact that I am vaguely capable of constructing a coherent sentence in german by writing a story about two drunk representatives of the german speaking community. As one does.**

**Let me know what you think, bitte. **

**By the way, in case you've been living under a rock or something, the ''was its los, es its Party angesagt'' and ''party bis die elute durchdrehen'' are references to two songs by Die Atzen: Disco Pogo and Party. Check them out, they're really good to listen to while you're taking a shower.**

**Oh, yeah - reviews are awesome, so leave one if you're cool!**


End file.
